Two Types of Pain

I used to always run from anything that could cause me pain and discomfort. The issue is the pain I was running from was growing pains. This is a temporary discomfortable sensation we all must go through in order to become a better version of ourselves. When you were a kid there were all types of growing pains you had to go through. You had to fall in order to walk or run or climb. Sometimes as you get older those pains are the sacrifice of our perception of our freedom. The freedom we have today in the west is the freedom to choose our life path, but we have to choose something. If we sit around and don’t make a choice we experience the second type of pain, the pain of regret. I think about the time I spent avoiding doing things I knew I needed to do and I’m disgusted at who that person was. There is nothing more revolting than someone who displays cowardice in their life by choosing inaction thinking they can skirt around their problems. I had virtually no discipline. I was fat and I wasted so much time doing absolutely nothing of value. The only thing I can pull from that time to help myself is I know what my low is. I know what my hell feels like and I never want to experience that pain again.

I needed to think about what I truly wanted and who I wanted to be then embody that person to change. It took a lot of pain to get started and I still voluntarily take on the growing pains. Many will avoid growing pains and stay stuck at where they were at 18 or another age forever. These types of people not only go nowhere but they are often boring and depressing to talk to. How could someone like this ever be interesting? To be interesting you have to have worthwhile interests then learn and act on those interests. What can an adult who sits around all day watching cartoons and eating processed garbage have to talk about? NOTHING! If someone like that ever wakes up and realizes the position they’re in they will feel the pain of regret hit them like a train. Most of these people try to justify their sorry state by complaining about all the terrible things that happened to them. I used to be like this too until I finally realized that I was letting all my lifeforce be drained by past experiences that I would never be able to change. Thinking about things in the past that you didn’t want to happen will not make it go away. You will just relive it over and over again. I am not who I was last year or last month, I’m who I am now and that is the person I have to work with in order to go where I want. I had to come to grips with the fact that I am not a compilation of bad things that happened to me.

Spending your precious time thinking about all your bad experiences will do you no good. If someone did something to you and all you do is think about the suffering they caused you that is the same as you drinking poison to kill them. We are fortunate beings because we can conceptualize time. We exist in the present moment and also along great lengths of time. There is our selves last year and today and tomorrow and next year and so on. Do you want to be in the same spot with the same problems next year as you are today? Or keep having last year’s problems? Sometimes I used to think I’ll change when things or people around me change. The problem is that nothing changes until action is taken to change it. In our lives we are the only ones who can enact the change you really want for yourself and it takes embracing pains of growth. This can involve anything that will better yourself whether that is a workout routine, a studying routine, or something that will push you forward.

I slowly began to embrace the struggle in life and worry more about what I wanted to do and who I want to be than about the problems of the past. Life is somewhat of a journey meaning a good part of it is the unknown. When you start to change your body and subconscious mind will fight you to stay in the known area. These are the growing pains everyone trying to change go through. The first steps were the hardest for me. I started using the pain of regret as fuel to force myself to take on the pain of growth. I realize that growing pains are no where near as painful as regret. Regret will compound and consume. Growing pains are temporary and will subside once you get to the level you were working on then it is time to choose a new point to aim for.

Which pain are you willing to deal with, the pain of growth or the pain of regret?